If someone would ask me to name one thing I regret during my exchange, I hate to say I won’t have to think long. It is -also sadly enough- something I didn’t do instead of something I did do. I don’t want to think about what I regret, but I don’t want you to make the same mistake as I did, so that's why I am here, still mad at myself, writing an article about it.
The ‘What if-questions’ ran through my mind. What if I put more effort in making local friends? What if I did talk to that one kind-looking girl? What if I tried harder? Why was making local friends so hard for me? I can’t change anything obiously, so please, read this and don’t make the same mistake as I did -and lots of other exchange students, I assume. When I was sitting on the plane, on my way to my new home for the next couple of months, I was thinking about all the new and exciting things that were going to happen: a new country, a new home, a new language, a new family, new friends,... it was all very promising. I was so nervous, but excited to start at a completely new school with people I’ve never seen before. Even though I was only gonna be there for one term, I told myself I would make lots of friends and have the best time ever. They were all gonna ask me questions and they will all show interest in me, because I am a foreign exchange student, that talks a weird language and has a noticeable accent. Well, I wish I was right, but it wasn’t anything like that. They didn’t even notice me at first. The first day of school is one I still remember as if it was yesterday. All the international students -and trust me, at my school there were heaps- were placed together in a large room. We first had to be given an introduction, before the real school-life could begin. I was nervous, but in a good way. At lunchtime, I already thought this day was awful. I did not like that first day AT ALL. I wanted to meet the local students, not people from Brasil or Germany or Norway. Don’t get me wrong, they were all very nice and kind, but -in my case- just not Australian... The second day started the same way as the last one. All the internationals, together in one big room. It made me a little bit mad because I really wanted to try my best to make new friends, Australian friends. But at 11.30 am, finally, we could go to our classes. It was for real now. I was so happy and more than ready to make friends. But first, it was lunchtime. Without thinking about it, I wandered around the schoolground, looking for my international friends. I saw an Italian girl and we ate our lunch together. We also sat with two Australian girls and they were really nice. They didn’t show a lot of interest though; after asking the typical questions - what’s your name, where are you from, what language do you speak- the conversation went in a completely different direction. All good, I don’t like being in the center of attention too much anyway. After lunch, it was time for my first class, Physical Education. I entered a classroom full of Australian boys and girls. Apparently, our teacher was absent, so we had a task that had to be completed due to the next lesson. I took all my courage and went to sit next to a kind looking Aussie girl. She didn’t really talk to me, because I didn’t really talk to her either. I smiled and said hi, but no more came out of my mouth. I still don’t know if it was just me being shy, the girl being not interested or the girl being shy. Perhaps it was a combination of all three things. Perhaps I was the only one the blame... After a while, the Italian girl I sat with at lunch came in; she was late because she couldn’t find the classroom. I waved and she came and sit next to me. We couldn’t stop talking. That day I came home and I wondered why I didn’t say anything to that Australian girl next to me. Maybe it was because I wanted it too hard. Maybe she didn’t really talk because she was quite popular-I found that out later- and didn’t want to waste her time on me. I was so disappointed in myself. Why didn’t I talk with her, or she with me? When I came back to my homecountry a couple of months later, I had made a lot of new friends. Only 2 of them were actually Australian (Well, besides my hostmoms friend’s son and daughter and her 11 year old friends I had to babysit on once). But why? Why didn’t I succeed in making friends that were born in the country I was staying in? After breaking my head about it for months, I guess I finally know why. You have a connection with the international students that you just don’t really have with the local students. Just like you, they left their home, to dive into a completely new adventure, of which they don’t know how it is going to end. Homesickness, language difficulties, hostfamily issues- they’ve all been there too. The native inhabitants look up to you, find you interesting and think you have a lot of courage and all that, but sometimes that isn’t enough to create an everlasting friendship. You feel like the international students understand you, better than anyone in this weird, new country. There’s this little something extra that the non-international students just do not have, and that’s often what makes it harder (or asks for more effort) to actually sit down and talk to the local students. We, international students, won’t laugh at each other when we make language errors, we won’t make a weird face when someone is feeling homesick, we will help each other figuring out how to pass our tests. We understand it when you don’t want to hangout because you want to facetime your family, we help each other looking for the english words to say. That’s just how it is. I love my Australian friends more than anyone, but so do I’ve created an endless love for my friends from Italy, Germany, Norway and so on. I figured that no one will ever understand me better than my international friends, even so many years after my exchange. If you’d ask me what you should definitely do on you exchange, I would say ‘effort and balance’. Really try and make local friends, and spread your time over international and local friends. Find a good balance between the two of them. Be part of a sportsclub or participate on weekend activities, it is the best way to spend time with locals. And last, make sure you don’t regret anything when you’ve returned home. Always take the jump, even though you’re afraid of heights.
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Welcome!Hallo allemaal en welkom op mijn blog! Mijn naam is Lidewij en ik ga voor 3 maanden studeren in Australië. Via deze weg wil ik jullie allemaal op de hoogte houden van mijn avonturen.
Archieven
August 2019
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